I saw this #629 fb post at University of Malaya confession page thingy. It was like a long time ago, but only now I finish and publish this draft as a response to it (coz, if I write this down in the comment..I'll be dead meat when a new sem start. So, here it goes...
This isn't something that people should and would confess about, but I almost did it-suicide But why didn't I?
1)every breath you take, granted, awarded by God (regardless of your religion, there is a higher power who give us this life, right?) key point: faith.
2)everything have something behind the lines, so to speak.. find that logic reasoning if that may help you to get a grip on something. key point: rational
-Digging backward-analyze the cause(s): "Is it my fault?""How does it justified as my fault?""Is it solvable?""How can it be solved?"
-Digging forward-analyze the consequence(s): "Is this justify of what you did/had?"
Sometimes, we're just clouded by our emotions. Just get someone or something to pour the negative emotions upon. For me, I stop the 'pity party', jot some of 'the digging' down and did some "duel match" with emo-self. I hit her hard with reasoning, and end it with something that goes along the line, "Stop being a fool, Shida! Come on, you're better than this!" And yay, WIN!
3-every seconds of good moments you've been through before, is it really that petty to exchange all that for a one-time depression? You know, there're others who're fighting for another day to live, especially in war-torn countries. Do you wanna trade places with em then? key point: appreciation
4-every person that love you or/and you love, think of em. think of how your mom/dad/siblings/friends would cry their hearts out when you're gone. key point: love yourself (as cliche as it is)
-Don't give a f*** even if it feels like the world hates you, give em that finger instead t(*0*t).
-Don't put your value in this world based on how much love you received or how many people adored you. You are you yourself. You put the standard of evaluation yourself. You yourself strive for it.
(eg: how much I better I am today than yesterday, or how much I contribute to the society, how will I prove myself (and the world, but not that it matters most though) that I can do things that I myself proud of)
5-everything that doesn't kill you make you stronger. (cue Kelly Clarkson ^_^) key point: endurance. Ok, what differs a diamond and a graphite in a pencil? Both are of the same element. But the gem of the gems, as the most valuable thing (so far) have greater network of chemical bonds, due to massive amount of heat energy and friction. (mehh, sorry if this chemistry student bores you to sleep) So, try to apply this analogy and think that the things you're facing with is just a test or a process to be better person. Heck, be adamantium, be strong-willed just like Naruto! (be cool like Sasuke! :3) (yeah, I'm a geek who love manga/comics/games!)
I simply regret and ashamed that I too was once weak and enough to be in that state of depression, to think about suicide seriously.May that will never happen again, ever.
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