Suicide? The things I was thinking when I once thought about that.

I saw this #629 fb post at University of Malaya confession page thingy. It was like a long time ago, but only now I finish and publish this draft as a response to it (coz, if I write this down in the comment..I'll be dead meat when a new sem start. So, here it goes...

This isn't something that people should and would confess about, but I almost did it-suicide But why didn't I?

1)every breath you take, granted, awarded by God (regardless of your religion, there is a higher power who give us this life, right?) key point: faith.

2)everything have something behind the lines, so to speak.. find that logic reasoning if that may help you to get a grip on something. key point: rational
-Digging backward-analyze the cause(s): "Is it my fault?""How does it justified as my fault?""Is it solvable?""How can it be solved?"
-Digging forward-analyze the consequence(s): "Is this justify of what you did/had?"
Sometimes, we're just clouded by our emotions. Just get someone or something to pour the negative emotions upon. For me, I stop the 'pity party', jot some of 'the digging' down and did some "duel match" with emo-self. I hit her hard with reasoning, and end it with something that goes along the line, "Stop being a fool, Shida! Come on, you're better than this!" And yay, WIN!

3-every seconds of good moments you've been through before, is it really that petty to exchange all that for a one-time depression? You know, there're others who're fighting for another day to live, especially in war-torn countries. Do you wanna trade places with em then? key point: appreciation

4-every person that love you or/and you love, think of em. think of how your mom/dad/siblings/friends would cry their hearts out when you're gone. key point: love yourself (as cliche as it is)
-Don't give a f***  even if it feels like the world hates you, give em that finger instead t(*0*t).
-Don't put your value in this world based on how much love you received or how many people adored you. You are you yourself. You put the standard of evaluation yourself. You yourself strive for it.
(eg:  how much I better I am today than yesterday, or how much I contribute to the society, how will I prove myself (and the world, but not that it matters most though) that I can do things that I myself proud of)

5-everything that doesn't kill you make you stronger. (cue Kelly Clarkson ^_^) key point: endurance. Ok, what differs a diamond and a graphite in a pencil? Both are of the same element. But the gem of the gems, as the most valuable thing (so far) have greater network of chemical bonds, due to massive amount of heat energy and friction. (mehh, sorry if this chemistry student bores you to sleep) So, try to apply this analogy and think that the things you're facing with is just a test or a process to be better person. Heck, be adamantium, be strong-willed just like Naruto! (be cool like Sasuke! :3) (yeah, I'm a geek who love manga/comics/games!)

I simply regret and ashamed that I too was once weak and enough to be in that state of depression, to think about suicide seriously.May that will never happen again, ever.

Love = Dark Chocolate

ALERT: This contains repetitious usage of the word 'love' and some eww-jiwang-karat-gila stuff. and some words that need discretion. LOL. oh, this is just me writing, for me and those who don't find their love yet. Sorry if this touch any sentiment.

I tweeted these before and wanna say it again..Love is #BitterSweet like my fav dark choc!When I saw a couple holding hands, I felt happy for them..but devastated for myself. The same goes when I read novels and watch romantic stuff. Man, how I envy the feeling to have someone to love and love you back!

I dunno for sure, but teenagers and pre-adults thinks of love most of the time, especially girls during PMS (but not every girls though). But it become a trend, a new normalcy to have a bf/gf. A new wow factor to have multiple of em at the same time (HECK! That's so low!). A new swag to able to to have uncountable bfs/gfs, ex-bfs/gfs, TemanTapiMesra and fans. (Yay, you're hot but so what?).

I have once considered to change myself and be a player, so flirted around a lil', just a payback, just to feel like "Hell, I can do it and I wanna do it", just to beat the crap out of bastards that do it....but I didn't coz I put love as something that is the most precious and sincere thing. Love isn't a condom/cloth or something you wear and throw it off (tukar2 pasangan...).

I'm no good at this kind of stuff (nil real experience) & I'm just blinded as you are. but I just thought that better I write this down, clear my head before going to sleep and clear this nagging to update this blog. So, What is LOVE?

1.LOVE ISN'T HERE..YET the one for you will come, just not now, not yet (as cliche as it sounds, it's true). You rush it up, you'll just find a fake love. There are reasons as for why you didn't find it yet. You can't compare yourself with other people in this thing, you are you, your route of life is different. Plus, as the saying goes, save the best for the last.
2.LOVE IS ALLAH's kalau betul awk dgn dia, Allah akan titipkan rasa cinta (sebab itu anugerah kepunyaanNya, kalau ada jodoh, x ke mana. Sbb dh tertulis sedari dulu lagi..kan? :)
3.LOVE IS A RESPONSIBILITY. Are you mature (both physically and mentally of course) enough? Have you done other responsibilities (to yourself, family, future) well? Are you capable to take care of another, without neglecting the previous?
4.LOVE IS TRUE. So how do you know it is? Ask yourself: Why I love her/him actually, the real reason? If that reason is omitted, do I love her/him all the same?

I know this sounds soooo serious, but if you're just thinking of tasting the waters, you don't need to go beyond 'friends' and hold hands and call/text all day & night etc. (I've always wondered, wth you talk/text all day/night long..seriously, tell me!) For me, I'll pass. I have enough sins to put up to but never enough money, time & brain cells, to be used. And of course, I only have 1 heart and 1 life. :)

Just remember...

but

And..

So..

For me..

:)

Maria Elena: when will it stop?

Maria Elena: when will it stop?: yes, i know.. Allah SWT uji kita ikut keupayaan kita. "Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: "We bel...

This reminded me of my late grandma, who passed away 100 days ago...

Tadi makan satay goreng resepi maggi kt TV tu dengan sayur masak lemak putih..Fav dish che prnah masak...Teringin ketupat kerisik che.

Semalam makan jala mas, buah tanjung, telur itik...

In about 9 days, we won't be gong back to kampung..I'll be spending my raya..working

I missed you, che. Al-Fatihah

Dakwah. The art of touching people's heart, the right way.

"Are you kidding me? I'm not the kind that have what it takes to give dakwah la".

"I hate being preached, so why should I preach others? Come on, save me your blabbering" 

"Let the experts do it, you can't give dakwah without enough knowledge". 

"I don't have the time for that. I'm busy with my study and my career. Maybe later" 

Honestly, the same excuses were in my head too.  But those are what they are- EXCUSES

So wth I write this? Let's see the REASONS as to why I still do this

1-Dakwah is an invitation and a summon (searched on wikipedia), to both Muslim and non-Muslim. An invitation for us to learn the beauty of the deen. A summon to get us back on the right track.  

2-I'm simply obeying Allah and following The Prophet Muhammad to practice 'amar maaruf, nahi mungkar' (which simply means 'striving for deeds/enjoining what's right, preventing sins/forbidding what's wrong'). That's the reason as to why dakwah is crucial.

3-I'm not counting on the result of the dakwah, whether it falls on deaf ears or not. That's a bonus. Because in the end, it's up to that person to do something for oneself. As far as I do it with sincere intentions wholeheartedly and using the right method, I've done my obligations to my deen.

4-I actually reminding myself when I give an advice to others. For example, the issue of wearing hijab, controlling own temper etc.

5-I perceive the act of pointing out what's right and giving advice, (based on my own observations & knowledge) as my own way of dakwah. Thus, I accept the fact that I may be wrong in giving facts due to my weakness, mistakes and inadequate knowledge. Well, learning is a process of life, right

6-I love positive-rational-educational-civilized debates. Well, I sorta feel intrigued about this good thing (dakwah thru debates) good people do (which I wasn't, and am not, really!) when I stumbled upon a debate in the comments of a Youtube video about a telephone call that made a Father..speechless.

7-I'd like to believe that The Great One granted us this responsibility to lead and be khalifah of Allah on this world. The Most Merciful One bestowed us this opportunity to gain dunya rewards (prosperity, calmness, self-improvement etc) and the Hereafter rewards (pahala).

Oh, yeah if you want some other points to crush your inner devil, just check this out

The CONCEPT of dakwah (and Islam as a whole) is interpreted as an irritating forceful act of extremists, especially among non-Muslims, and not excluding Muslims too. One might say that it is because they are still not exposed to the real concept of dakwah, being bombarded by media over the years. One might also say that it is because of our own faulty methods, for making them interpret it that way, with varying degree (The demonstrations,  bombings, and wars happened due to more complicated reasons.) 

'To give dakwah/dawah/da'wah' (or whatever spelling it may be used) can be associated with 'to preach'. From my understanding, 'to advice for the better' is also a way to dakwah. Both words are of the similar verb, but different cultural connotations; I use the word 'dakwah' which is usually related to Islam, while 'preach' to other religions (I guess). And people thesedays dislike (that's the softest word I can imagine) the preaching, me included yo! Heh, I'm  still trying to handle that.

The commands to give dakwah is already been given, in complete set with rules, regulations and examples, from Quran and Hadiths of course. An-Nahl 16:125 and Al-Imran 3:159 are simple evidences as to the reasons why dakwah is an art and a skill itself; why acknowledged scholars, professors, and leaders read Quran and implement this themselves. Basically, there are 3 Methods that the Prophet Muhamad S.A.W used and passed for us: (lengthy explanation in this link)

1.Kindness

Dakwah means an invitation, as gently as it sounds. Dakwah was never a harsh forceful interactions. For example, Allah commanded Prophet Musa (Moses) and his brother, Prophet Harun (Aaron) to approach Firaun (Pharaoh) with soft approach, as in At-Taha 20:43-44. Here, you can see how the Pharaoh, well-known in the history of villains (simply put), still being treated in a good way. So, why there are some of us judged non-muslims and 'bad' Muslims and think them as lowly creatures? Pardon my languages, but I know what it feels like to be stared and gazed like I'm one. 

Dakwah also require steadfast patience, self-restraint and firm determination. No matter how much you struggle against the hostility of reaction, argument or abuse, you must 'keep calm and do it'. Even Allah commands His Beloved Prophet Muhamad to practice patience. Loads of proof can be seen if you searched in Quran, how Prophet Muhamad too, struggle (because he faced the hardest challenges) and seek the help from Allah. Yeah, how about we start looking and analyzing the direct source the Quran ourselves eh. :)

Btw, sincerity comes together with love, sympathy, and empathy. If we were asked why must we give dakwah to others, will our first instinct goes along the line of "Because I want to enter heaven with others"? 

2.Wisdom

Sometimes, people need the 'wake-up call' within themselves, which only can be triggered by a creative and critical thinking. Plus, that defines the truth of Islam, among other religions. For example, 

-'hikmah' granted by Allah, such as in the case of Prophet Yusuf in prison when two prisoners asked him to interpret their dreams (check out Yusuf 12:35-41).

-analogies like the analogy of hijab (I'm not much in favor of the candy one, much less the toilet one.  Filthy image isn't gonna attract women attention much. The analogy about diamond in glass box and her analogy about peacock is more pleasant). 

-debates like this Q&A session (but it's in Malay language, if you need help, I'll be honored to translated it for you. ^_^)

-blogs like the respected Dr. Muhaya's, SuhaibWebb's my fav, visual Teme's

-vids like this Aiman Azlan's and Mat Luthfi's

-books like Beduk Diketuk – Ustaz Pahrol Mohamad Juoi

3 Exemplar

Have you ever seen a millionaire, and you start to have the urge to be even a bit richer at that moment? The same goes in showing an exemplary attitude and henceforth the beauty of our deen. How? Briefly, we ought to

(a)Strengthen own aqidah/iman (belief). Never think your aqidah is firm enough. Never. Escpecially we who were born with Islam, unlike muallafs (our new brothers and sisters). We inherit Islam, they discover it. Perhaps we should find the catalyst that touched their heart to accept Islam at the first place.

(b)Improve own self. Follow and implement the way of our Rasulullah S.A.W live in our own daily life. Read the Hadiths and the biography written  The core values, the communication skills, the leadership skills etc. Actually, when the essence values are cultivated, every other skill will come 

(c)Evaluate own progress. Ibadah (worship)whether both wajib and sunnah. Delete hesitation. Insert khusyuk. Get your niat (intention) right

(d)Use own brain, think more. Muhasabah (self-reflection) while studying and analyzing (not merely reading) Quran and Hadith, seeing the wonders of nature and His creation, being reminded of the death and the supply for that day. (However, don't get depressed, the reminder is simply for us to not overindulge in dunya and appreciate every moment we live, for Him)

I know, this post is rather...disturbing..unsuitable..laughable since it comes from me (yeah, I'm the same girl who did the crazy stunt harlem & gwiyomi )..just forget the person who wrote this (well, it's a mash-up of thing searched anyway), listen to the message. ^_^ (this is my smiling face, for those who still didn't know. hihi)

PS: I spent the whole day doing this post. much I learnt. hoping to learn more, so do tell me if I'm mistaken or any add-ups. TQ for spending your time reading this lengthy post, (and I've already cut a lot of my rants!) it was supposed to be brief...sorry for that :'(

Vid Gwiyomi + Harlem Shake, dll..

Sebenarnya, banyak aku nak tulis kat blog ni.. tapi malas dan sibuk sket la.

My wishlist: belajar bahasa mandarin, korean, and other foreign language, dance cover, DIY clothes (youtube n pinterest of course), parkour etc. Silat seni tempur untuk kejohanan UPSI. Dinner jamuan MPS2 kt Seoul Garden. Si R, Mr.S, En. M. JPA vs MyBrainSc. Mother's Day. Anniversary Day. Father's Day. Study yang terumbang-ambing. Relationship (including friendship) yang macam roller-coaster. GE13. Solar flare.....(the list goes on and on)

Tp aku (dengan gediknya) ingin mengumumkan kepada 1 dunia, bahawa thiscrazylilgirl telah sahut cabaran (bodoh?)! kau hado?? ok, xprlu pun nak bangga sgt shidagila. (tarik nafa panjang2 sebelum klik ayat biru atas ni)

PS: this was just for fun, wahai sayang2ku.. why so serious...(gosh, I love Pink! the artist and the colour) mohon maaf klu trsinggung sesiapa..parody mmg pun untuk buat gelak beb..

hmm, im a noob (baby baru tatih) + pemalas, so ni adela bbrp yang aku aktif (sket).pinterest, instagram,
fb, twitter. jgn risau aku x femes n xlawa pun.. nak kawan ok, xnak kawan pun ok.. ikut suka hang la kn..peace..^___^

Firssttt Post~

Peace be upon you.

*Ehem..How are you guys doing?? ^o^ Goood?? hehe :p.. yup, fifyazmi style.. comel sangat..cute! ok, just wanna clear this out, I'm straight, ok.. But, gosh, I LOVE the keeks by the twin: @Fifyazmi and @khalieazmi (their tweethandle).

#1 fav keek: Fify&Khalie : Pamparampampam XD
#2 fav keek: Fify&Khalie : Semut gilaa..LOL

oh..do follow and subscribe to their keeks..(eh, promote tanpa gaji plak.. tp, dorang comeeell ^0^)

okayy, actually, this is the first post of my newly created blog..
"oo, lame/poyo giler weh, baru nak buat.."
"hek eleh, nak gak dia..kalau lawa takpe gak.."
"sape la nk tgok blog kau weh.."

hmm, aku dah dapat agak dah orang akan cakap ape. tapi takpela, takleh nak tutup mulut orang. and betul jugak dorang ckp tuh.

so..I try to use both Bahasa Malaysia and English. Because 1-some things I would prefer to express in English (selalunya nak 'maki', eh tegur orang politely) 2-my English pretty rusted, dilapidated.. nak cakap berkarat la.. 3-sebab ni blog aku..hahaha (ape yang lawak pun taktau..).

oh yeah, just wanna warn and tell everyone beforehand:
1-this girl (me) is crazy. random, erratic, gila, sengal, senget, sempoi, sewel..sume tu la..ckp je.
2-there will be things I shouldn't say/do. please jangan kaitkan dengan latar belakang saya atau apa2..apa-apa, cakap directly to me. oh, penggunaan aku/saya sume tu mmg xpernah tetap..ikut mood. heh.
3-any comment, suggestion, idea, sokongan, bangkangan, mogokan, demonstrasi, carutan, makian, teguran, kepoyoan, dipersilakan. but please dont get overboard. JANGAN MELERET (haha, bonda sangat)
4-kemungkinan banyak typo, grammar mistake.. mohon ampun awal2
5-kemungkinan terlalu banyak shortform and emoticon..ye pemalas dan poyo..mohon ampun awal2
6-kemungkinan tak banyak (maybe xda) gambar sendiri..aku tak lawa mcm korg....

I'm a noob. Tak lawa da bomb pun..Tapi biarla..kalau sud berkawan ngan saya..TQ sangat! ^__^ add la fb. follow la twitter

oh, shida, start bila ko jd gedik mcm ni wehhh...(_ _")
biarla...=P